One of the things I wanted to incorporate into my blog was my new life as a mother. Now that Rowan is seven (going on eight) months, he’s hit the “crawling milestone” — he is officially mobile!
When I first started this new blog, I liked the idea of a letter feature where I could mix my passion for writing with my love for my baby in a unique way. (And maybe one day when he’s old enough, he can look back and read it!)
I’m constantly trying to find new ways to preserve memories so that I can share them again in the future, or just look back and reflect on some distant day many years from now.
So here’s a letter to the littlest, cutest, love of my life!
My little boy (because you will always be little to me, no matter how many years pass us by). Why must you grow so fast? The other day, I scrolled all the way back to May of this year in my photo app on my phone, and reminisced the days you were so tiny and new.
Some days, it’s still hard to believe I have a son! That may sound wild to you, but it’s my reality. I’ll stop, in the middle of a busy day at work, and remember you and think of you and I’ll have a big, stupid grin on my face. It’s one of the best feelings in the world to know you are here in this world with me, after so many months of carrying you.
Other days, I am not sure how I lived my life without you — and it’s like you’ve been here forever. What did I do with all of my spare time? And how crazy is it that you haven’t lived as long on the outside as you did in the inside?
But most days, I am sad — and even a bit jealous — that your dad gets to stay home and watch you throughout the day. I love my job, and the ladies I work with. I love the babies that I teach, and I love staying busy at a place that makes me feel inflated and full of good things. But there are days I wish I could have stayed home with you longer. There are days when I just can’t wait for you to come to work with me (and I am counting down the days: 102).
Fortunately, I was there the first time you crawled. It was on our Thanksgiving break, and I remember wanting to cry because I was equally proud and heartbroken that you are no longer a tiny baby. It’s been a couple of weeks now, but you’ve been practicing it every day.
You’ve also been doing some other crazy things, like go from a crawling position to a sitting position, although you still can’t quite sit all the way up (you’ll get it though). And this past week, you’ve begun to pull yourself up onto things: your pack n’ play, the bathtub ledge.
You’re growing so fast. I love it, but don’t at the same time. As long as you still let me snuggle you and kiss your cheeks, I suppose it’ll make the transition better for me. Just don’t forget you will always be my little boy!