My son Rowan is six months old as of yesterday, and one of the things I wanted to incorporate into my new blog was my new life as a mother. I liked the idea of a letter feature, where I could mix my passion for writing with my love for my baby in a unique way. (And maybe one day when he’s old enough, look back on and read!)

I’m constantly trying to find new ways to preserve memories so that I can share them again in the future, or just look back and reflect on some distant day many years from now.

So without further ado, here is my first letter written to the littlest love of my life!

DEAR ROWAN,

It’s amazing and terrifying all at once how much growing you’ve done these past six months. I never thought that I could love something, or someone, as much as I love you. From the first day I found out you were a tiny little possibility growing in my belly, I have loved you. When I first saw you up on the ultrasound screen, I had loved you. When the cans of silly string that got sprayed at us were blue, I cried tears of happiness and hugged your dad tight. When family and friends showered you with gifts of books and clothes and baby necessities and diapers (so. many. diapers.) at your baby shower(s), I knew you would be loved beyond comprehension from so many more people than just me.

I knew that I was going to have to share you with everybody else, and as hard as that was to imagine — that I could share this wonderful, little human that I made with everyone around me — it was possible, and so much easier than I ever thought. You were so easy to love, and still are!

You were such a good baby from day one. Adjustment was never an issue, and you spilled and overflowed into our lives effortlessly. From two months old, you started sleeping through the night, which is a major blessing since your dad and I are both very much in love with our sleep. You could roll over with ease by four months, and even sit up with assistance. At close to five months, you took puréed food off the spoon like you’d done it your whole life. There was nothing (except peas!) that you wouldn’t eat, and now, at six months old, you are well on your way to crawling! This past weekend, you have been able to get your knees up under you, but you get a little stuck after that. I believe in the next week or two, your dad and I will have to fully baby-proof the house, and maybe get a baby gate or two.

When you were still just a thought, I had so many ideas on how I would raise you, like every hopeful mother does. I had so many opinions but knew that when the time came, some of those opinions and ideas would change. Working in childcare has taught me that much; all things are up in the air until the baby is here. I had a pretty firm opinion that co-sleeping would not be something we did. And, well… that was the first thing I tossed out of the metaphorical window. Those first two nights in the hospital, I laid with you in my arms, so reluctant to let you go. We got an in-bed bassinet that fit between the two of us in our king-size bed, and because your dad is super tall, it wasn’t too long before you outgrew it. Before long, we used my pregnancy body pillow to surround you (though since you came home with us, we are now very light sleepers). I don’t regret letting you share our bed with us, but as you’re getting older, we’re starting to introduce you to your pack n’ play for nap times (I thought we would be doing it much sooner than this, but like I said, plans and ideas change). I’m sure there are many more opinions that I have that will go through trial and examination, but we will cross every bridge as we come to it.

I know you’re only six months old, but it’s never too early to be proud of you! Everywhere we go, you are just SO good. I am repeatedly told how happy you are, how alert, how amazing, how bright and observant! As the holidays are approaching, I keep thinking about how much fun we are going to have as a new little family. There are so many traditions I want to share with you, and some new ones I want to start. I want to introduce you to the wonder that is Thanksgiving, and teach you that Christmas isn’t defined by presents, but by the time we spend together. (I want to teach you that the gifts are a bonus, but it’s so much more rewarding to see someone else’s eyes light up when they rip off the brightly colored paper and see what’s underneath.) I look forward to the first time you see snow.

Every ‘first’ you have is a memory I will keep locked in my mind, and many of them will be happening in the coming months. Your first six months was a whirlwind of smiles, laughs, and happy tears (some frustrated ones, too, because we can’t forget the struggles that shape us), and your next six will fly by just as quickly, without a doubt. I feel like I should already be planning your first birthday party!

My hopes are high for you, little one, and just know that your momma loves you more than you’ll ever know!

xoxo, Mom

Weight: 18lbs 14.2oz (80th percentile)
Height: 27.7 inches (89th percentile)
Loves: Little Baby Bum on Netflix, Dumbo lovey, eating, smiling!